|Image from Femanon's Blog|
Today I watched a video posted by John the Other, entitled "Pee Zed Fails Challenge." Before he gets into the point of his video, discussing nemesis PZ Myers, he directs viewers to a feminist website Radical Hub. I stopped reading feminist literature when I stopped reading Cosmo magazine, admittedly I am not up to date on feminist issues anymore because they just started to sound like the same thing over and over again. I randomly selected a blog to read and ...whelp...here I am writing about it.
The blog was about how men reduced women to a body part - the vagina, and, men think the vagina is always ready for penetration any time, day or not, sleeping or awake. There were many buzz words, catchy constructions and strongly put ideas that really captivated my mind. Here is one you all might enjoy. "The entire construction of woman, as men have created it, is based on vaginas being holes, and women being only vaginas. " Errr...I do declare! Got your attention didn't I? It gets better, get a load of this one, "The vagina is the central part of our sexuality, as men see it. (And because we’re taught the male perspective, women see it this way too.) I’ve never even of a man touching a woman’s bits without fingering her." If that is not enough to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, it gets even better. "But of course, men’s asses are closed. Gay men who bottom are not asked to have their asses pryed open annually to ensure their health. "
The blog was full to the brim with asses, penises, vaginas, things that are open, things that are closed, things that are rape-able, and things that are not rape-able. Admittedly I feel sorry for the woman who authored this hateful, man-hating piece of literature. She must be an angry, miserable person who spent too much time with the wrong people. With as much brevity as possible, I am going to respond to her lunacy.
1. Some men see women as holes. Some men do not see women as holes. Hang out with the right sort of man and you will realize this.
2. You can see female sexuality from any perspective that you want to. Just because a certain man see's female sexuality in a certain way, does not mean you have to follow his example.
3. Some men finger women because they think she likes it. If you do not like it, just tell him that you do not like it. Most men want to please women sexually. All you have to do is tell them what you do and do not like in the bedroom. Most men are happy to have that information.
4. Women must have yearly pap examinations because we have an entire reproductive system vulnerable to various types of cancer. It is on our best interest to be checked regularly. Gay men should have a prostate exam as well. This is for our health. It has nothing to do with patriarchal perceptions of sexuality.
I would like to apologize to my readers. The angry barley legal white girl gone radical who wrote that insane piece, linked another angry essay in her blog. >>LINK<< The linked blog is all about the function of a vagina. She states that a vagina's function is to be a cavity where men can ejaculate, then get up and walk away after they are done. Sort of like a toilet for men. The writer describes the female vagina as an extra large condom, and even posts graphic medical diagrams 'proving' how medical professionals even consider the vagina to be an always-open-for-business orifice ready for penetration any time, any day.
Admittedly, after reading these two blogs I literally had a physical response. This is just too angry, too hostile and too graphic for my stomach. Keep in mind that I am reading from the perspective of a white, married, vanilla, heterosexual woman with three children. There are some pieces of news that I deliberately choose not to read because I have a strong emotional response to them.
In my thirty-something years on this planet, I can testify that I have had my fair share of relationships with men. I love men, I love their company, conversation, and companionship. I know them to be unique - each and every one of them. Men are not all the same.
I cannot negate the truth that some men...you heard me...SOME....men consider a woman to be only a vagina, and vagina's are always open to penetration whether she is sleeping or not. Some men...that's right...SOME men think it is all about ejaculating, then getting up and walking away. It is natural for a woman to feel very hurt and angry when a man does that. If she does not want sex to happen like that, then it should not happen like that. People should not be hurt, or subjected to something that they do not want.
When Femanon berates men for treating women like their vaginas are always open like a New York City bodega, she fails to use correct adverbs, such as: some, sometimes, at random, at times, every so often, once in awhile, hardly, frequently, infrequently, now and again, occasionally, once in a blue moon, periodically. This is not unique to Femanon, angry thinkers, male and female alike, have a tendency of throwing around words like "always" and "never" like those words are going out of style.
Think about it for a second, other than converting oxygen to carbon dioxide, when do we always something, or never something? Are there ever times we are not doing that thing always or never? Angry bloggers almost beg people to ask, "Really? Always? Not even if little green aliens from Mars take over the world and change the laws of physics with super-duper-advanced technology?"
The 19 year old barley legal white girl gone radical seems to know enough to stay away from always and never, yet one can tell that those absolutist ideas are rampant in her blog. She appears to believe that all men, if not most men, think women are a bunch of gaping open vaginas available for penetration where-ever, when-ever.
When I was Nineteen
When I was 19 years old, I also had a lot of anger towards men. Today I realize my anger towards men came from two sources. One: some men mistreated me, and hurt me deeply. Two: I was angry about how females were considered stupider than men, less competent, and objectified in the media. I became paranoid, self protection was paramount. I did not even buy my first car without a man accompanying me, because I was so concerned that the dealership would try to take advantage of me because I was female. Time went on, I grew older, and less paranoid.
If I could advise this young lady, I would first advise her to relax and take it easy. Try letting go of this anger. If a man thinks a woman is a big, gaping vagina...then do not associate with him. DONE. FINISHED. Yes, it is that easy. Most of the problems people have are self-made. Most emotional pain is self chosen. I know this is the mother in me speaking right now, but just follow some simple rules.
1. Do not sleep with a man too quickly. Get to know him first. Get to know what kind of a person he is.
2. Expect a man to get to know you as well. He should have to put in the work, and get to know what kind of a person you are.
3. Do Not date assholes. They are not worth your time. It does not matter what kind of stupid car they drive. That is all materialistic bullshit anyway. Character and kindness are more important than a nice car, flashy clothing or any of those other things people use to prop themselves up in life.
4. Understand that in life you must pay your dues like everyone else. There is no free ride. Do not expect it from anyone, including men. Work for what you have.
Then, go on with your life and be happy. Life is easy...people make it complicated. In this blog, I wrote about the male anger towards women and also female anger towards men. Women and men seem to be really pissed off at each other. I have a theory that it all boils down to one simple principle: control.
The problem I see with women and men, is that they willfully push the boulder up the hill because they find meaning within the struggle. The effort gives their lives meaning. They push the boulder up the hill with the hope that their efforts will bring them better futures, futures where they control men. Whether that dream is in a magical place where women dress up as June Clever, can vegetables, and obey her husband, or a dream where all men are faithful, treat women as intelligent adults, respecting their uniqueness, loving them for the quality of their characters. It is a futile search for control, and it is a futile effort that will result in one ending - disappointment.
There are some men in this world world who do think women are a bunch of open vaginas, and yes those guys are out there - these blogs are not hurting them in the slightest. Just browse through my blog, I identified a couple of these jerks earlier. These men will continue hurting, exploiting, manipulating and mistreating women. They will continue to treat women like shit. They will seek out stupid women to exploit sexually. There is nothing you can do to stop it from happening.
All women can do is control themselves, their choices, and make the best possible choices. Blogs like femanon succeed at spreading anger, paranoia, and hurting the innocent men who are not bad. Right now, there are thousands of beautiful, wonderful men who want nothing more to make love to a woman that he deeply loves. Men do love our bodies, and our vaginas...but they also love our minds, our wit, our humor, our company, and the love we give back to them. Men want to please women. Why is it so difficult for these particular women to see a mans heart? All they can see is a potential rapist.
Those are my thoughts on this.