Gallows Humor à la Naomi

While researching Gallows Humor, I stumbled upon a website called deathpenalty.org where I learned that eighteen people are set to be executed for 2013. The list consists of seventeen (17) men and one (1) woman. Several of the men scheduled to die this year murdered their girlfriends children.  Britt Allen murdered his ex-girlfriend and her two year old daughter. After anally raping his girlfriends three year old daughter, Ronald Phillips bludgeoned the child to death. I read the judicial analysis of this case, and it left me shaken. It is no secret that I am against the death penalty and have been for as long as I can remember. I think these people are guilty, and know they have left a trail of tears behind them. I think that judicial killings is morally wrong. Be that as it is, sometimes humor is the best way to deal with things that make us uncomfortable.

 As far as gallows humor is concerned, I would like to wish the following individuals a happy new year. Mark Spotz, Robert Gleason, Kimberly McCarthy, Chris Sepulvado, Britt Ripkowski, Carle Blue, Larry Swearingen, Fredrick Treesh, Michael Gonzales, Rigoberto Avila, Ronnie Threadgill, Elroy Chester, Steven Smith, Douglas Feldman, Billy Slagle, Harry Mitts and Ronald Phillips.

I just had a fleeting thought. If one of these death row inmates had a New Years Resolution, what would it be? Get more exercise? Eat better? Read Moby Dick? Every day that passes they know they are going to die. These people are living to die. They are waiting to die. 

Lethal injection is the standard of care for executions in the United States, and available in every state that practices judicial killings. Before the day arrives, the inmates are given a pre-execution physical to make sure they are in good health. Executing someone who has the flu would not be kosher in the slightest.

When the big day arrives, the executioner will always swab the arm with alcohol before inserting the needle. There is some mumbo-jumbo circulating the internet that the arm is swabbed in the one in a billion possibility that a renegade bacteria will hijack the Sodium Pentothal, 2.0, weakening the death drug. But, lets face it - what are the chances that would happen? The real reason the arm is swabbed is because the Warden does not want the inmate to catch a nasty infection nine minutes before they succumb to cardiopulmonary arrest.