Friday, January 25, 2013

Strachan The Leprechaun Slayer

Theology of War makes absolutely no sense. When someone tells me they have a degree in ‘theology’, it makes me smile. So they went to a University to study a magical, supernatural deity that refuses to prove it exists. Congratulations. That is as meaningful as a degree of Leprechaunology.

Since the early nineties the United States Department of Defense formally banned women from most ground combat units. At long last, the military has been forced to end its sexist policy because they were sued by the U.S. military will end its policy of excluding women from combat and will open combat jobs and direct combat units to female troops, CNN has learned. Since 1994, the Defense Department has formally banned women from most ground combat units. The American Civil Liberties Union sued the Pentagon on behalf of four female service members over the combat exclusion policy, saying women are already serving in combat roles but not receiving the training or recognition of their male counterparts.

Baptist Bible Thumper Owen Strachan said, “My theology of war – and women in combat – is directly related to my theology of sex and gender.”

In my curious little mind, the first thing I did was translate that into, “My Leprechaunology of war – and women in combat – is directly related to my Leprechaunology of sex and gender.”

It sounds weird, think about it for a second. Theology = -‘the’ means god, -ology ‘study of’. ‘Leprechaun’ = leprechaun ‘-ology’ the study of.

The analogy is correct because god is imaginary. All gods and deities are imaginary. There is no scientific evidence for a god. Therefore, Owen Strachan studies something for which there is no evidence. Leprechaunology is the study of leprechauns. There is no evidence for leprechauns, they are completely imaginary. It would be unfair to say my leprechauns are not real, and their god is real, when we are dealing with exactly the same quantifiable evidence for both. If a person believes in god on faith, then to be fair, they should believe in leprechauns on faith too.

Let’s go on and see what Owen goes on to say in his blog: “When it comes to making mankind in His image, God creates Adam first. He makes Eve from Adam. Her body is literally made from his, which signals both Adam's leadership and his duty to protect Eve. In other words, Adam gives his body so that Eve may exist.”

My book of leprechauns reads completely opposite, in fact, it reads that women give birth to babies. Sometimes, those babies are male and sometimes they are female. This means, men’s bodies are literally made from female bodies. In fact, I have evidence to support this claim. It is called DNA. Men have their mothers DNA, not only that, but they also have something called mitochondrial DNA which is inherited only from the mother. As you can see, my Holy Book of Leprechaun does not contradict modern science. Amazing! Did they have science labs back when the book of leprechaun was written? Of course not. Ta Da! (Muslims, I have to give you credit for that one)

The fact is that women were not made from a man’s rib. That story is ridiculous. It is amazing to me that modern people believe that rubbish. Women come from the same place as every other human being – their mother’s uterus.

Men do not have any obligation to protect us delicate little flowers. Women are adults, we are not little children.

Owen goes on to say, “He is called for the rest of his life to give his body so that Eve may thrive.

Actually Owen, men are not obligated for the rest of their lives to give their body so that Eve may thrive. Reason? Whelp, first, there is no evidence that Eve even existed. If she did, she died a long time ago. So stop writing in all that retarded metaphor. I hate all of that filler, mumbo-jumbo. Men have no obligation to sacrifice themselves for women. The life of a man is just as valuable as the life of a woman. Women are not these delicate little creatures that need the ‘big strong man’ to take care of us. Goodness. What century do you live in?

This guy goes on talking about biology is destiny, and the usual mumbo-jumbo we hear from religious nuts. Their entire world view is irreparable skewed. I can only imagine how comfortable it must feel to live in that delusion. Destiny does not exist. It is just as imaginary as Poseidon, I mean, Zeus, I mean Thor, I mean Loki, I mean Jesus, I mean god. Gosh, there are just so many gods out there, which to choose from? The number of WalMarts in California are not even close to the number of different gods humans have believed in. 

For me this is a no-brainer. All combat troops should be clever, skilled, agile, and physically fit to handle the job. It does not matter if the officer is a man, woman, black, white, Latino, gay, or straight. It does not matter if they like their Martini shaken not stirred. Some things are irrelevant. It is a job. Either the person can do the job or they cannot do the job.

Some argue that testosterone matters, and women cannot carry the load that men can carry. Some will argue that physical fitness standards will drop if women are allowed in combat. I have yet to see any evidence of this. Furthermore, if agility is a standard then woman will always outperform men. Are they complaining about relaxing those standards? If testosterone is the standard, then one must also agree that any male with low testosterone should not be allowed to serve in the military. Approximately 15 million men suffer from low testosterone; therefore we should just cross all of those men off our list. These are all arguments that the Bible Thumpers willfully ignore.

The fact is, these numb-nuts will invent any excuse they can muster. They actively seek out information that conforms to their belief that the Bible is the greatest thing to come along since sliced bread. Do not try being rational with a person who rejects rationality. It is sad.

Every single argument against women serving in combat attacks the essential qualities that make her a woman. ‘She’ menstruates, therefore should not be in combat, ‘she’ cries at sad movies, therefore she should not be in combat. Many of the arguments paint men as primitive cavemen who are capable of handling the horrors of combat, while upholding the old idea that women are delicate little flowers. Many women work in the trauma unit of emergency rooms; women work as surgeons, undertakers, corners and have many of the same difficult jobs that men have.

I have yet to hear a single argument against women serving in combat that does not rely on either religion or an archaic gender stereotype. The move to allowing women in combat is good for the country. I am confident that it will make the United States military stronger and better.

People like Owen Strachan are a perfect example of why churches loose followers. With the free flow of online information these days, more and more people are scratching their heads and saying, “does any of this make one bit of sense?” 

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